You’re Literally The Meanest To Yourself (Stop Self Sabotaging)

You’ve probably heard the saying “You are your own worst critic.”

Maybe we’ve heard it too much, which makes us not really consider what it’s saying.

Unfortunately it’s true and it’s holding a lot of us back.

I’ve learned that it’s not actually about feeling completely confident all the time. You can start something feeling a little less than ready and sometimes in the middle of it or at least after, feel a little more capable than you did at the start. The trick is you have to start. We have to sit with that uncertainty and let it be a shadow as we move forward anyway.

For me it’s been about having a baseline, once you have this you become kinda unfuckwitable.

What is this baseline I speak of?

I’m glad you asked. It’s what you know to be true about yourself, about your capabilities, your talent and your potential.

Get into you and get familiar with these basic facts.

It’s been my experience that confidence is built on what we know we’ve done and can do.

So on the days when my skin isn’t as glowy, or my clothes don’t fit and I’m not feeling like my best self, it doesn’t get to me like it used to. I know that my mind is playing tricks on me!
Slowly but surely, I started to recognize that I’m actually fine and the ideal in my head is not a real 365 days a years thing. That’s fine.

Not even the richest people in the world manage that. It’s a totally unattainable thing that keeps us buying stuff we don’t need. I’m not here to talk you out of shopping, just to recognize that little voice we heard, that ain’t us.

If that’s not doing it for you, just look at all the people doing things you hold yourself back from that would never be allowed if they measured themselves against your random requirements? They don’t care about that stuff and they show up because they have their priorities straight. I respect TF out of people who just show up and I try to steer clear of people who just want to put those people down.

Ever noticed that 99% of us feel like we need to do or become xyz before we try things and put ourselves out there? It’s way too common not to be a side effect of our society’s truly messed up messaging and programming.

We can write a new story.

Of course all of your ideas are brilliant when they only live in your head, you haven’t showed up they haven’t actually been tested.

I think that’s one of the scariest things for people.

We’re afraid the feedback (or lack thereof) will mean the worst things we’ve thought about ourselves are true. We’re afraid that we’re not good enough on some level. Spoiler alert: Trash belief, trash belief.

You don’t need more money to start, you don’t need a new wardrobe to start, you don’t need a new camera to start, you need to build confidence. A lot of times fear looks like “cool” or even judgment of those doing the exact thing you want to do.

Listen, no troll or hater can speak anything over your life and have it actually count.

No one else but you has that kind of power when it comes to you.

First of all you know how poppin’ you have to be to even inspire another human to say mean things about you?! Those are fans.

More surprising than that is most people are actually so supportive. That’s another thing, think of all the people who you haven’t given a chance to support you? They just need to be activated by your action and consistency.

Trust me, be consistent and you will be surprised.

I guess I’m talking to myself because I definitely had to coach myself to this point. Now I care more about experimenting, sharing, and giving above all else.

There was a time that I’d hardly share an opinion because I felt no one would care and that I should first become wildly successful (aka rich/famous). I got completely brainwashed, totally caught up. Now it doesn’t matter anymore what comes out of it. I care and that is enough. It has to be.

That alone is so freeing. It’s so powerful.

I’m an extremely logical person. I can explain all the reasons I’m holding myself back and they will make perfect sense. Lately I’ve been challenging that within myself. Forever learning and growing.

Maybe you can use this: Every time you hold yourself back by catastrophizing or telling yourself you’re not ready or good enough, ask yourself, what if I’m wrong?

It took time to untangle myself from the web of lies I bought into, but first I had to realize I was stuck.

Are you stuck? I hope you share your ideas, and your vision. Inspiration is funny, if you don’t do it others certainly will.

Find me on Instagram @ehlieluna

In collaboration with:

Tarik Carroll - Photographer

Jonatan Mejia - Stylisti

Full denim lol by Eklektik.