4 Lessons Toxic Relationships Taught Me
Hey loves!
I’ve really missed being here. Every day that I don’t write something in our little corner of this vast space, I keep thinking of more and more to share.
There are already so many drafts of ideas calling me to be finished. If you follow me on instagram, you know that every Tuesday we do Glam Dates, a chit chat GRWM style series.
Last week we 4 covered 4 lessons toxic relationships taught me.
The toxicity playing out in my life was really just mirroring back to me what I needed to work on within in myself. In other words I was a magnet for certain types of people who were highlighting to me what was wounded within. Of course at the time, it went over my head. Eventually through reading and consuming uplifting content and working on intentional healing and reprogramming myself, I finally got it. Once I understood that I felt so much peace and understanding looking back on those relationships. It never really was about the people and I don’t hold any grudges.
Lessons show up in different ways to teach us. The same lesson can manifest in our lives as a romantic relationship, a job, a friendship. It’s like a monster with a head that grows back every time you thought you chopped it off clean with a break up/cut off moment. The only way to banish that beast is to adopt new/more suitable beliefs, believe and live them! It’s truly a brand of magic we can perform as mere mortals.
Good or bad, I’m in control. In other words, I had to learn that if I don’t like the story I’m in, write a new one. Once we’re on our own in this world, it really is up to us. I feel like there can be someone reading this who feels like this can’t be true. I especially want you to know it is possible, because I was in a cycle of recreating my own trauma and the kinds I witnessed starting at a very young age. The quicker we start practicing accepting this as a possibility, the sooner we can start designing/writing something that fits the way we’d at least like to see ourselves. This has been my experience at least. It’s even possible to create some level of our own reality within a less than ideal situation, a way to cope that transforms a familiar (or even undesirable) experience. It’s possible. So much of this is mental…and spiritual.
The trap of identity. Sometimes to experience something new, we have to be someone new. What I mean is, often times we can unknowingly adopt a self concept designed by our environment and the people in it. Before we know it, we’re acting out this identity and even protecting it and affirming it. I always felt like deep down there was this internal compass that always let me know something wasn’t lining up. The more I tuned into that, the clearer the direction got. I haven’t mastered it. Far from it, but now that guidance is way more clear. I try to stay in touch with what is true for me and what isn’t, staying flexible as much as I can enough to realize if I was wrong about something so I can grow.
Hope these 4 important lessons I learned from toxic relationships could spark something for someone. I hope you feel understood, seen, inspired or affirmed, or maybe you were just bored :)
Any lessons toxic relationships have taught you that you wanna share?