Creator Advice Column

Hey Icon,

In case you missed it and haven’t subscribed yet, last weekend we started the newsletter for creatives that aims to help you through that thing blocking you from starting creative projects. Consider me your creative big sis.

Drop your questions for a future VV here.

Q. How do you navigate being a creative when people are pervasive, entitled, and envious?

Dear Navigating,

Being is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever practiced.

I wasted so much time thinking of things not worth the mental space, wondering how I was received, worried about how I might be perceived, afraid of being seen trying, internalizing the opinions of others, living in the past, people pleasing and being so committed to the story line of my childhood and teenage years that I saw time pass me by again and again.

Every time I looked up another year had passed and I still had the same untapped potential, unexplored dreams, curiosities and desires. The worst part was the quiet but mounting disappointment in myself, acknowledged or not, there it was chipping away at my self-confidence.

I started practicing being present, being with the current moment, with my current reality and how I was feeling in the moment. I got more present with just me.

Practicing being who I feel I’m supposed to be (we all have this sense), tuning inward, trusting my intuition and moving on the cues of my internal voice/spirit/guides all lead me to living life as a creative.

Being human means experiencing life around, with and thru others. There’s no escaping that and that’s a good thing.

What helps me is maintaining an understanding that my experience is mine, and everyone else’s is theirs. If others project their stuff onto me, it’s not my job to sort thru that. It’s theirs.

What can happen is when we haven’t sat with ourselves and dug into our internal work, the projections of others are very threatening. The times I’ve wanted to hide or not be perceived have been when I wasn’t standing firmly in who I am.

I don’t “manage” being a creative in spite of anything. Understanding and managing my inner world, creating my own reality and being primarily concerned with (almost to the point of obsession) what my purpose is, creates a space where I don’t spend much time at all seeing the world in the way your question posits.

It’s ok that you have this perception temporarily, it’s likely from pain of past experience - but I would love to know what else you can imagine that doesn’t put you on the defense.

Q. What do you recommend for someone whose confident that they have a creative vision, but they’ve been responsible for executing and creating other people’s projects for so long they don’t know how to execute their own?

A. Dear Confident Visionary,

First, let me say I love this question!

I love it because it speaks to a very sneaky saboteur. Every chance we get we have to drag it out of the dark corners of the mind and into the light, name it, and starve it.

What is it?

It’s fear. Now if this is the case for you, the first thought is a big NOPE - not identifying with fear in that way.

You’re a visionary, which tells me you’re smart. You can probably get pretty analytical too. It’s a gift and a curse because the same gifts that you use to elevate and execute your projects can be used to create so much distance between you and your resistance that it can go unnoticed, intellectualized or worst renamed altogether to something that fits your self concept.

So many of us have ideas and even vision but how many of us truly feel worthy to place ourselves at the center of that vision?

The truth is, you know how to do the steps. You’ve been part of the process.

I want you to take a moment and try this sentence:

I admire people like ________ and I feel so aligned with_______(purpose/work/project you want to do).

I’m as deserving and as capable as __________ (insert same inspiring figure doing similar things that you’d happily book your normal gig contributing to), and I’m excited to live out my vision and version of ________ (insert dream you haven’t said out loud or brainstorm some words in that direction). They’ve shown me it’s possible, and I’m so grateful for that example! Now it’s my turn to be that person for the younger version of me and for myself. All I have to do is take the first step, which is _____.

The spell of the gatekeeper era when getting started required the the cosign, relationships and of corporate structures still lives in and around us.

It’s nice to have support that our peers and friends recognize as a big deal, we all want that.

The uncomfortable truth is that It’s easier to show up after being selected by a paying/recognized client or other check cutting entity. Being chosen can feel like the permission we need to take that step.

What if you chose, select, cast, feature and elevate yourself as the ultimate authority and subject?

Something about showing up with a team doing a thing where we don’t truly risk very much (where our true desrires and vulnerabilities live) while still getting some creative fulfillment, credit and even be celebrated for that work can even feel very “official” or like “real” or “serious” work.

While we’re being congratulated for that type of work, most of us go home at the end of the day and can’t ignore that our hearts want something else.

Sometimes that desire isn’t actually about being the star but about what making that vision happen teaches us for the next phase of our lives.

I hope you’ll create/build that something else around yourself, and I hope you’ll become the ultimate muse in your life.

Q. I’m trying to sing more and perform more in the city. How did you do it? I feel like I’ve it a wall and need motivation to do it consistently.

A. Dear Singing In The City,

I’m so curious about the “wall” you mentioned hitting. In my experience as a creative, getting around hitting one of those starts with knowing what kind it is.

Are you the wall you’re hitting? Do you feel ready to be on those stages?

Practical advice would be to start following artists you admire who are little more experienced than you. Where are they performing?

These artists should ideally be the types you’d be grouped with musically (I know, we hate being compared). If you were going to tour with or open up for someone, who would make the most sense? Where have they performed?

Reach out to those venues, introduce yourself and your music (include 1-2 photos/1 link to music, website in signature).

Follow up with a phone call. Don’t give up easily but space out your follow-ups.

Where do you go see live music? If an up and coming artist is in town, where do you go?

You can probably perform there. A lot of these artists are doing all the grunt work behind the scenes, I know I did. It looks like things are just happening but for many, they’re making them happen. You can too!

Have you ever been in a space and thought you’d like to be on that stage?

Email them, and then pick up the phone. Find out what it takes, and if you’re not ready yet, you now have something to work towards.

Artists have to develop a part of themselves that I like to call “The Rep”.

This is the part of you that can objectively (at least somewhat) look around and know "I belong in this space!” then advocate for yourself.

If you need to hype yourself up every time, do it.

Get the energy up and use it to take those steps.

Let me know how it goes!

Ask me your questions here and be sure you’re subscribed to the newlestter over here so you don’t miss our catch ups and Q&As.

If you didn’t see you aswer here, check back Sunday. I promise to get to all of them.

Please excuse any typos 😊.